You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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