it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
where are my eyebrows?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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