If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize