the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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