The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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