She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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