Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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