I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize