Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
