My hand turned me down
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize