You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
