That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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