So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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