who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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