Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize