thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
