are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
