Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize