she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
