It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
