We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize