I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
