She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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