great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
