No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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