Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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