I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
