I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
