when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize