her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
