i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
