the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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