He is such a slut. More and more my type.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
