KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
