Betty ford says i'm here all night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
