As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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