I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
