So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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