found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize