please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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