U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
