What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
