he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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