WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize