Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
