I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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