I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Your penis caused this!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
