i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
