Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
