He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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