Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
