It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize