we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
