D3 body, D1 cock
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
