So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
