I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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