Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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