But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize