Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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