So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BRING THE BAGELS
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
