that's an acceptable place to lick
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
