my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
