She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
