no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
