giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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