I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
