So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your penis caused this!
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