I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
