Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
