Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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