i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I enjoy the company of your penis
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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