my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
