You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
