if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
