Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
