I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
