He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
