Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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