Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
