did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I deserve this hangover.
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