NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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