But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
